While watching last weeks episode of HBO’s popular series, Insecure, I could not help but feel for Tasha. Witnessing her public humiliation by a supposedly “nice guy” definitely struck a chord and brought back some bitter memories of my own.
We all knew Tasha was the rebound. Even she knew she was the rebound. However, where it became confusing and problematic for sis was that she started to believe that she could be more. This belief was constructed, in great part, by f*ckboy Lawrence (we’ll get to him later) whom led her astray from her natural intuition but, also due to faulty actions of her own.
Tasha knew Lawrence just got out of a relationship. But, oftentimes when you’re getting dicked down by the guy you’ve been pining after for the last couple months you just can’t think straight. You start translating good dick for the start of a good relationship. That’s not how that works.
Watching Tasha fool herself into believing this could be more had me yelling at the screen, “Girl stop! Pause! Reclaim your time chile!”
I mean did she not see the signs? Up until the second episode Lawrence had NOT: Taken Tasha outside the bedroom.
The truth is most of us have been Tasha.
We’re good enough to f*ck but not good enough for a 4 for 4 at Wendy’s? A $12 movie ticket? Or cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster.
If you're a girl that knowingly plays bed warmer to a f*ckboy you should know your roll.
If you are the rebound, as said rebound there’s only one rule: DO NOT TRY TO MAKE THIS MAN, YOUR MAN.
You are NOT his girlfriend.
Do not invite him in for something to eat. Starve him of food, just like he starves you of a title and a healthy emotional attachment.
Do not have him sitting on your couch, and watching your cable sis. You paid for that!
Do not have him meeting your family and friends. He will absolutely have you looking ass out and stupid when he leaves after being your pretend boyfriend for all of 5 seconds.
Those are girlfriend privileges! And if a f*ckboy wants girlfriend privileges he better upgrade his membership.
Currently, you’re the closet he hangs his emotional baggage in when the skeletons have filled his own.
You’re the doormat he wipes his feet on before he enters your clean home unknowingly still tracking dirt.
One more time. You are not his girlfriend.
Now in the case of f*ckboy Lawrence, and dudes just like him, they claim to not know the extent of their actions. They’ll come into your life friendly as hell and truly believe that their friendliness can shroud the fact that, they’re about to cause damage and put you through an unneeded emotional roller coaster.
Lawrence, like many Grade A F*ckboys, stepped outside of his routine because his friend struck a chord when bringing to his attention the beneficial situation he's in.
“Great plan bro. You show up on Fridays, and hit that throughout the weekend and dip.”
Lawrence then had to prove to himself that he wasn’t a f*ckboy but a “good guy.”
A lot of dudes want to believe that. They may even apologize for their actions. But, apologizing and being friendly does not make you a good guy.
Admitting your doggish ways does not make you a good guy.
Playing the role of a boyfriend without a title, and real investment does not make you a good guy.
A good guy would have made his intentions clear from the start.
A good guy would not start performing boyfriend like acts (dates, movie night, and family bbq’s) knowing that he ultimately just wants to smash and leave.
A good guy does not continue to use a good woman for a rebound.
All in all, this last episode of Insecure should not only serve as a lesson for Tasha but, a reality check for all women that are heading down the same toxic road. Additionally, it’s a lesson for men that don’t realize their f*ckboy-ish ways.
In the words of comedian B.Simone, “If you ain’t gon do right, if you ain’t gon be right, LEAVE ME ALONE BRUH.”